


DRIVING MR. STARSKY

by Jacqueline_64



Series: DISCUSSIONS IN A TAN LTD [3]
Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Gen, Humor, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23841580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacqueline_64/pseuds/Jacqueline_64
Summary: Conversations the partners have when not using the Torino eventually always center around one topic: the sorry state of Hutch’s LTD.
Series: DISCUSSIONS IN A TAN LTD [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1491143
Kudos: 5





	DRIVING MR. STARSKY

**Author's Note:**

> Story situated between Snowstorm and JoJo

# DISCUSSIONS IN A TAN LTD

The most used disclaimer:  
The TV show "Starsky and Hutch", and the characters from it  
are the property of the persons who hold the copyrights  
and other legal rights to them.  
This story is a work of fiction, written for pleasure only  
and not for profit. It is not intended, in any way,  
to infringe on these preexisting copyrights.

Jacqueline©2020-04-25

## DRIVING MR. STARSKY

With Starsky’s Torino at his uncle Al’s car dealership and garage for – in Hutch’s opinion – yet another, totally unneccessary, touch-up of its paint job, the partners had to get around the city in Hutch’s LTD.

Hutch drove his battered vehicle up to the little bungalow apartment where Starsky had spent the night with his latest conquest.

A cute redhead that picked up her car at uncle Al’s Auto Palace at the same time that Starsky left the key to the Torino at the service desk. The flirty conversation they’d struck up resulted in the girl offering him a ride home. After all: the nephew of the dealership’s friendly owner couldn’t be a bad guy and besides she thought he was too handsome to resist.

So, Starsky had not taken the loaner from his uncle, but had accepted the girl’s offer. Instead of her driving him to his place, however, she’d invited him over to her little apartment. What red-blooded guy in his prime could resist such an offer? He’d called Hutch the next morning with directions to the apartment and now stood in its doorway kissing his latest flame goodbye as Hutch looked on.

Starsky put some extra swagger in his sexy walk toward the LTD, making Hutch roll his eyes as he sat behind the wheel. For extra effect, Starsky then turned halfway to wave to the girl while grabbing the doorhandle on the passenger side. He pulled while giving the girl one of his most charming smiles, ready to get into the car in one fluent move.

Instead, however, the handle to the passenger door came off leaving Starsky standing outside the still closed vehicle, staring at his hand. Hutch just shook his head. It was going to be a long day.

“Will you hurry up and get in? We’re late as it is, due to this detour,” he said, a slight hint of irritation in his voice.  
“And put that back, will you?”

“How?”, Starsky asked earnestly, while unsuccessfully trying to re-attach the doorhandle.

Hutch didn’t have time for this, so he exited the car, stumped around it to the passenger side, jiggled with the doorhandle and its hinge a few times and managed to not only re-attach it, but open the door for Starsky to get into the car, as well.

With a deep sigh he took his seat, looked at Starsky and said  
“Don’t touch anything, anymore, we’re late!”

*********************************************************************************

An hour into their first drive around the city, the partners changed their conversation to more personal subjects.

“So, no loaner from uncle Al, huh?” Hutch began, with a smile around the corners of his mouth, as he looked at his partner.

Starsky managed a juvenile smile, despite having a mouth filled with half a candy bar.

“Is she a keeper, or just a little pastime, huh, Starsk?”

“Dunno yet. She can cook, though,” Starsky answered.

“Sheesh, Starsk, isn’t it a bit early to be so crass?”

“Crass? Whaddayamean?” Starsky asked in a raised voice.

“It’s not very nice to rate the quality of your time together that way!” Hutch admonished.

“I wasn’t talkin’ about that! I mean, she can really cook! Made the best T-bone I’ve tasted in a long time!”

“Oh, **cook** ,” Hutch said, slightly embarrassed,  
“So, you gonna see her again?”

“I might. Gotta wait until my car is done, though. She hasn’t seen her yet. Don’t want her to think I always travel by clunker.”  
  
Hutch raised his eyebrow, but ignored that remark. Instead he asked his partner,  
“So when is the Tomato ready? Do I drop you off at your uncle’s garage at the end of the shift?”

“Dunno, I asked him to call the station when she’s ready. Dispatch will notify us.” Starsky sighed.  
“And I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t call her that!”  
  
“Call who what? You mean the girl? Well, I don’t know her name yet, Starsk, and like I said, I don’t know if this one is just a pick-up or something that might last, so….”

“Not her! My car! The Torino!” Starsky answered with righteous indignation, then continued after a pause,  
“The girl’s name is Tanya.”

*********************************************************************************

They returned to the station for the second time that day after having busted a smalltime dealer. Hutch had to pile up some of the junk in his LTD’s back seat to his side while Starsky waited on the sidewalk on the other side with the suspect. When the back seat on Starsky’s side was finally cleared enough he moved the suspect inside. The partners stood up straight at the same time on opposite flanks of the LTD and looked at each other across its roof.

“What?” asked Hutch in response to Starsky’s annoyed look.

“It’s fucking embarrassing,” replied the curly haired detective.

“What is?” answered Hutch, as he shut the back door on the driver’s side before getting in behind the wheel.

“WHAT IS?!” whined Starsky, before shutting the back door of the LTD on the passenger’s side with a bang and taking his seat next to Hutch,  
“You having to clear out that junk yard in your back seat so we can take a perp to the station, **that** is!”

Hutch started the LTD’s engine, then joined the traffic.  
“It’s not a junk yard, and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t refer to it that way.”

“It is a bit uncomfortable,” came the perp’s voice from the back seat,  
“and it smells kinda gamy, too.”

“Nobody asked you, Victor!” an annoyed Hutch snapped at the suspect.

“Yeah, shut up and let me find this thing, so I can read ya your rights,” added Starsky while pulling down the sun visor. Whatever he did, caused the rear view mirror to drop to the floor of the car.

“Dammit, Starsk, look what you’ve done!,” Hutch exclaimed, while his hand blindly searched for the mirror.

“What now?,” an oblivious Starsky asked.

Hutch just glared at him before re-attaching the rearview mirror.  
  
“You mean the mirror comes off, just because I flipped the sun visor?”

“It didn’t _just come off_ , because you didn’t _just_ flip the visor. You pulled it.”

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Starsky grumbled.

“Besides, the Miranda is in the glove compartment,” Hutch added.

Now it was Starsky’s turn to glare at his partner.

He opened the glove compartment and it shouldn’t have been a surprise to Hutch, that its flap came off completely. Just like this morning, Starsky looked flabbergasted at the detached part of Hutch’s car in his hand.

The completely blank look in the eyes of one partner found the extremely annoyed glare in the other’s.  
“Starsky, so help me….. “

“Guys? Officers? I think I just saw a mouse! Here! In this pile!” exclaimed Victor, the suspect, from the back seat.

“You have the right to remain SILENT!”, yelled Hutch over his shoulder.

“Yeah, shut up, we’re almost there!” added Starsky, who was very happy to see the station just a few hundred yards away.

*********************************************************************************

They had booked Victor, finished up some paper work on other cases and had a briefing with Captain Dobey on a big case. It was time for their last drive around the city before their shift was over. Uncle Al had called that the Torino was ready, so at the end of their shift, after one last visit to the station, the partners walked up to the LTD.

Just as they were about to get into the car, Starsky stopped dead in his tracks and looked suspiciously at Hutch’s battered set of wheels.

“Come on, we’ve got to get all the way across town to your uncle’s garage to pick up the Tomato, and I don’t want to be late for my date,” Hutch told Starsky.

“But what if he was right?” Starsky asked.

Hutch did not have enough information to come up with a fitting answer.  
“What if who was right about what?”

“Victor! About the mouse!”

“Seriously? Starsky, we’ve already spent hours in the car since he made that claim, yet you pick this moment, now, at the end of our shift, to start worrying about it? Get in!”

But Starsky didn’t move, just remained about a foot away from the passenger door, eyes wide like a toddler’s, afraid of the boogeyman.

Hutch knew his partner well enough that trying to convince him was not going to work and would take up way too much time, so he sighed deeply, opened the back door on the driver’s side and demonstratively took out the pile of junk, right in front of Starsky. He proceeded to pick up each item separately, shake it, show it to Starsky as proof that it was safe, before putting it back inside the car again.

With the last item back on the back seat, he looked at Starsky and asked,  
“Okay now?”

Starsky’s expression changed into a relieved smile,  
“Yeah, thanks, Hutch,” he said.

Hutch closed the back door of the LTD with a loud bang as Starsky got into the passenger seat.  
  
Hutch got in behind the wheel and put the key in the ignition.

“Now ya just gotta do something about the stench,” Starsky added casually.

That was it! Hutch gave his partner the king of all glares before pulling the driver’s door shut with an even louder bang, and took off on the way to Al’s Auto Palace.

Half a block away, Starsky twitched his nose,  
“What’s that smell? And that rattling sound?”

“Starsky, so help me ….. It’s been a long day and frankly you’ve abused my car enough both verbally and physically for the rest of the year, so just humor me and shut up or get out and **walk** to your uncle’s garage!”

15 minutes later, they drove up into the parking lot of uncle Al’s business. The Torino stood sparkling in the early evening sun and Al walked up to his nephew and his partner.

“Hi guys! Right in time, huh?”

“Wow, unc, she looks terrific! Thanks again!” Starsky exclaimed enthusiastically as he carressed his prized possession.

“Okay if I go now, Starsk? Remember I have a date, tonight!” Hutch said, ready to head home for a nice ending to a day filled with aggravation.

“Go?,” uncle Al asked the blond detective,  
“In **that**?!” He pointed at Hutch’s LTD.  
“Son, you might want a hot date tonight, but I’m sure you don’t want to catch on fire, do you?”

Not understanding, Hutch asked  
“Excuse me?”

“Here, look at that!,” Uncle Al walked around the rear of the LTD and pointed down.

Hutch looked and was shocked to see his exhaustpipe had partly detached from his car, and seemed to be only hanging on one thin hinge.

“How…. What …. There was nothing wrong with it all day!”, he exclaimed,  
“We … we used the car all day!”

Starsky walked up to the pair and took in the broken exhaustpipe.  
  
“How can it …. How could it have just broken off like that?” Hutch continued.

“Oh, could have been anything, Hutch. Your car is old…. an older model, and uh, well, could use some care. It could have been rust ….. or did you bang into something? Hit a sidewalk at high speed or something?” Al cautiously chose his words as he recognized even this sorry excuse of a car was loved by its owner.

“No….. no,” was all a subdued Hutch could say.

“So, uncle Al, you mentioned rust, and you also used the word bang….. Could, say - theoretically speaking of course - closing the door with a **bang** , cause a rusty hinge to …. well, break?” Starsky asked, his voice and intonation getting a bit more cocky with each word.

“Ha! Sure a bang could do that to a rusty hinge! Shoot, even a little nick while parking at zero speed, could do the trick! No, Hutch, I can’t let you drive your car, especially not with a pretty lady in it, and let you run the risk of it catching on fire. Just leave it here and we’ll try to, uh, …. We’ll, we’ll fix it for you.” Al said, as he held his hand out so Hutch could hand him the keys.

“Need a ride?” a triumphant Starsky asked his partner, as he leaned against his red and white gem.

A deflated Hutch looked from his partner to Al and back, before getting into the Torino.

Starsky said goodbye to his uncle and sat down behind the wheel with a wide smile on his face. He started the engine, waved to his uncle and slowly drove off the parking lot, before looking at his partner.

“Not a word. Not **one** word!” was all that Hutch said.


End file.
